Time’s New Romance

I just saw this kilig-inducing video of a couple making time for each other. After seeing this video, I wonder if it’s true that chivalry is really dead.

http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/heritageweb/media/01Arts/WEB-610.jpg.html

Gone are the days when boys actually had to ask a girl’s parents for permission to court her. No more standing outside a girl’s window and singing harana. Today, courtship usually happens when a boy and girl aren’t even together.

couple-texting

While the technique has drastically changed over the years, the barriers have also been broken. Maria Claras no longer need to hide their smiles under their paper fans. The modern Marias are free to let their men know how much they are loved.

While it’s more than okay to go back to our ancestors’ romantiko moves, I think it’s very useful to understand your partner and his/her needs. My boyfriend Jim introduced me to the concept of The Five Love Languages. The usual cause of arguments between a couple is misunderstanding. I admit I used to get a little hurt when my boyfriend wouldn’t do the same things I would do to show my love but once I understood his love language, we have been the happiest!

saabjimhk

There are five love languages according to relationship counselor Gary Chapman:

  1. Gifts
  2. Quality Time
  3. Words of Affirmation
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

I do simple things that make Jim happy like getting dropped off at his office after work so we can brave rush hour together and he won’t be alone (we call this Crush Hour). Just the other day while shopping for my Japan trip I saw a cute pair of pajamas and remember Jim saying he wished he had a good pair of jammies so I got it for him and left it on his couch. When he got home I got several heart emoticons via text because he was so surprised and touched. It may be the simplest things but it makes a world’s difference when you know what your partner wants.

It won’t come naturally if your love languages differ but that’s where romance kicks in. The effort into finding out how best to make your partner feel loved and proving it is very rewarding.

It’s a different time and age for love but ultimately we are freer to do whatever we want and that is the challenge. Are you up for it? Just always remember that romance and love don’t require each other but they are both crucial to a happy relationship <3 <3

P.S. I actually wrote this 2 days before Jim and I got engaged!! Thank you for all your kind words of support. It means so much to me. So many of you are what I call “lurkers” and don’t ever comment but the day I got engaged I was so surprised at the number of people who have been reading my blog for years (some since the beginning of time haha) sending me messages of elation. I will share my journey with you guys, I promise!! The engagement story will be saved for another blog post. Hehe. To be continued! <3



35 comments

  1. Hi Saab! <3 I've been reading your blog since 2003 so I, in a way, was able to keep track of your adventures in life and love. Hehehehe. I am so happy for you and Jim! I can say that you are at your best when you guys got together. You had a lot of projects and were able to explore your passion and share it with other people (i.e. music among other things). I guess he inspired you that much, noh? Congratulations! :) Can't wait to read your kwentos about your engagement and the journey to your wedding! :)

  2. SAAB!!!!!!!!!!! Narinig ko pa yung engagement mo sa 2 tweeners while shopping at GH. The moment I found out, I checked my IG then poof, flooded with IG posts from your BESH. Nakakaloka yung kilig vibes nila for you. I am forever your fan since incugirl. <3 So excited for your engagement! Details please! <3

  3. I love you Saab! I’m so happy for you. Honestly, naiiyak talaga ko nung nalaman ko na engaged na kayo ni Jim. Tears of joy. Hihi! Soooo kilig!

  4. Saab! I am happy for the both of you. A reader of your blog eversince, and seriously when I read this blog up to the last line I had goosebumps. You look good together!:) Congrats!

    #fanmode

  5. So sweet! Lol I’m one of those lurkers :P Can’t wait for the engagement post! Haha sana magpropose din sakin boypren ko sa Japan *cough* LOL. Happy for you, Saab! ♥

  6. Hi Saab!

    I’ve been following your blog since 2010 and it’s my first time to comment.:)
    I just want to congratulate you!You are such an inspiration!
    So happy for you girl!

    Love,
    Teacher Pia

  7. Hi Saab,

    I am a big fan of yours and I really enjoy reading your blog. I agree on what you wrote. Also, congratulations to you!! Stay happy and gorgeous all the time. ((:

    PS: please blog about your recent japan trip. your blog is the best! ((:

  8. I’m a quiet reader of your blog. And I’m also surprised when Jim proposed to you. God bless to both of you and Congrats Saab. :)

  9. Dear Saab,

    I’ve been your loyal blog fan since God knows when, I just want to congratulate you and Jim on your engagement. Hey you inspire me in dealing with my boyfriend (we’ll celebrating our 2 years this coming April 8) I’m so inggit I hope he will pop the question soon too hihihihi. Please continue to update us regarding your wedding preparations. May God Bless your new endeavor. Stay happy and pretty.

  10. CONGRATULATIONS <3

    I'm totally one of the "lurkers", di ko lang mapigilang mag-comment this time. I've been following your blog from years ago and i knew every time you write about Jim or share something about your relationship that you are in your happiest. Shet kinikilig ako!!!!!!

  11. “I admit I used to get a little hurt when my boyfriend wouldn’t do the same things I would do to show my love but once I understood his love language, we have been the happiest!” – SUPER RELATE! :D I love this blog post of yours, mega relate ako. <3 Congrats to you & Jim! I'm happy that my blogger idol is now engaged! :D

  12. I really agree to the idea of love language, yeah guys and girls have different means of showing love and affection and understanding what your partner really means of certain gestures helps build a happy and strong relationship. Cheers to you and Jim! I am so happy and excited for the coming days that you’re engaged now, every milestone you have is an inspiration to me since day 1 of me reading your blog! :)) <3

  13. I am so happy for you Saab! I’m so kilig when I read that you’re engaged, i’m bit late about the news but I wish all the happiness for both of you. I will wait for your post on how Jim proposed :”)

  14. GUILTY! I’m a lurker (except for one comment I left on a post about abandoned dogs… I think) and I don’t even want to specify how long I’ve been lurking because I might just come off as creepy. But I’m so excited for your engagement and I definitely remember seeing Jim in pictures from your OLD ASS BLOGS so it’s cute how you two ended up. And I think it’s the perfect time as well since you both have grown and matured, learning from past relationships. Oh, what do I know. I just decided to leave a comment because I, and I’m sure along with everyone else, am waiting for a new post about the engagement! And I don’t want to sound demanding but be elaborative, we’d love to hear the deets. We love our dose of daily/weekly/monthly Saab!

    1. HI LURKER!! Hahaha na-expose mo yung fact na MATAGAL KA NA TALAGA NAGLULURK kung naaalala mo pa si Jim sa The Incugirl phase ko!!! HAHAHAHA <3 Yes will post it tonight. Daming details baka maloka kayo :)) Thank you!!!

  15. Hi saab! Isa rin ako sa mga semi lurker blog reader mo and your twitter follower :) you are one of my favorite blogger :) dahil nga sayo kaya ko na discover ang old school tumblr! Hehe :) and since then i”ve been your fan na :) really happy with all your success because you deserved it :) i always have this hunch na you and mr. jim will end up together! :) nung isang araw nadinig ko sa radio yung girl be mine by: mr. Francis M :) and naalala ko yung sabi ni ms. Maxene na gusto nya yung maging song sa wedding nya habang naglalakad siya papuntang altar :) and then recently i discovered na your engaged na! <3 so surprised and happy for you and jim! :) All the best! :) <3

  16. “but once I understood his love language, we have been the happiest!”
    I must say that this is just precise. I had always thought I loved my partner more than he loved me. I felt like my love did not get returned as much. But later on, I realized that relationships don’t work that way. And a man’s mind isn’t the same as a woman’s. But as time went by, I began to understand. Basta I can’t express it into words. I’m not really good with words. haha
    I’m so excited to read about the deetz. Basta I am soooo excited talaga. All your followers know how happy you are with Jim. God bless!

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