I just saw this kilig-inducing video of a couple making time for each other. After seeing this video, I wonder if it’s true that chivalry is really dead.
Gone are the days when boys actually had to ask a girl’s parents for permission to court her. No more standing outside a girl’s window and singing harana. Today, courtship usually happens when a boy and girl aren’t even together.
While the technique has drastically changed over the years, the barriers have also been broken. Maria Claras no longer need to hide their smiles under their paper fans. The modern Marias are free to let their men know how much they are loved.
While it’s more than okay to go back to our ancestors’ romantiko moves, I think it’s very useful to understand your partner and his/her needs. My boyfriend Jim introduced me to the concept of The Five Love Languages. The usual cause of arguments between a couple is misunderstanding. I admit I used to get a little hurt when my boyfriend wouldn’t do the same things I would do to show my love but once I understood his love language, we have been the happiest!
There are five love languages according to relationship counselor Gary Chapman:
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
I do simple things that make Jim happy like getting dropped off at his office after work so we can brave rush hour together and he won’t be alone (we call this Crush Hour). Just the other day while shopping for my Japan trip I saw a cute pair of pajamas and remember Jim saying he wished he had a good pair of jammies so I got it for him and left it on his couch. When he got home I got several heart emoticons via text because he was so surprised and touched. It may be the simplest things but it makes a world’s difference when you know what your partner wants.
It won’t come naturally if your love languages differ but that’s where romance kicks in. The effort into finding out how best to make your partner feel loved and proving it is very rewarding.
It’s a different time and age for love but ultimately we are freer to do whatever we want and that is the challenge. Are you up for it? Just always remember that romance and love don’t require each other but they are both crucial to a happy relationship <3 <3
P.S. I actually wrote this 2 days before Jim and I got engaged!! Thank you for all your kind words of support. It means so much to me. So many of you are what I call “lurkers” and don’t ever comment but the day I got engaged I was so surprised at the number of people who have been reading my blog for years (some since the beginning of time haha) sending me messages of elation. I will share my journey with you guys, I promise!! The engagement story will be saved for another blog post. Hehe. To be continued! <3